Announcement Poems
Index:
Chapter 1: Krey and Lindy
Chapter 2: Jaedin
Chapter 3: Cambren
Chapter 4: Addisen
Chapter 5: Berkeley
Chapter 1.
"Frequent Flyers, U-Hauls, and Rental Cars (a short story)"
(from Krey
and Lindy's Wedding Invitations)
They thought and they thought
of what they should do
across 300 miles, give or take a few.
Would you, could you follow me?
he asked his friend in Berkeley.
Follow
you down to L.A.?, she said,
dear
Krey, no way José!
I would not date you here or there.
But would you date me anywhere?
Well, Arizona might be
neat,
if you wouldn't mind the heat.
They might just need an engineer,
let's try it for about a year.
And then with a bump and a thump on the head,
he couldn't believe that he said what he said.
He asked, do you think you could be my wife,
if I promised to love you for all my life?
I would and I could, but I
think you should beg,
'cause everyone knows that you broke my leg...
*
Anyhow, we're getting married...
Come by and see us!
Chapter 2:
"Big J, Little J"
(from Jaedin's Birth
Announcement)
Big J,
little j, what begins with J?
Jaedin, Jadwick, Jojabbazz,
and Jimbob start that way.
Now of the four we thought the best
was Jaedin (though we liked the rest.)
And so we finally
found a name
that both of us could stand,
Rewind a year before he came
to see where this began.
Big M,
little m—what begins with M?
Marriage, move, maternity—M, M,
M.
After not so many months
of mellow matrimonia,
There came a call, next thing we know
we’re leaving Arizonia.
We packed our things
and headed to
an island in the Sound,
Where we take a boat
to get to work and ‘round the town.
Soon after that two
lines appeared
on some small stick from Rite-Aid
And changed our lives for good, we feared,
though we were quite excited.
Well, excuse me but…
A precious little
tax deduction with our DNA
Makes this apparent need for liposuction go away.
One month, two
months, just a few months
later came this little guy
We hadn’t met yet, you can bet that
made us feel some butterflies.
Now from the start
it seemed his heart
was just one size too small.
But this surprise, revealed his eyes
wouldn't hold him back at all.
Now parents do this,
they go through this—
finding out there's much more to this.
They recover, then discover,
that they might just want another.
They even seem to like this bother!
don’t ask me why, go ask your father.
At times I look at
him and think
this thought that’s quite recurrent,
If that’s my kid, then that makes me
apparently a parent.
I must admit, the thought’s a bit
beyond intimidaedin,
That God sent us this gift from heaven—
introducing Jaedin!
Chapter 3: A Brand
New Toy for Jaedin
(from Cambren's Birth
Announcement)
I'm proud to announce
at eight pounds and an ounce,
a brand new toy that I found:
It was wrapped in a blanket,
and I thought it stank,
but it looks like it's sticking around.
It just kind of lies there,
though sometimes it cries when
I poke it and pull on its hair.
It yelled a whole lot
(please don't tell Mom and Pop)
when I pushed it down off of my chair.
Now I want to be nice,
though I had to think twice,
so I bent down and gave it a kiss.
And then with a grin
it latched onto my chin
and I thought what kind of toy is this?
I asked my mother,
she said, "it's your brother;"
it looks like we're in for some fun now!
So let's make some noise,
here's one more for the boys!
We outnumber the girls three to one now.
Now I want even more,
but they tell me the store
where they got it just went out of business.
So I guess I'll just pray
that on some far-flung day,
Santa sends us a sister for Christmas....
Chapter
4: "The Mystery Box"
(from Addisen's
Birth Announcement)
Seems like it was
just a short time ago,
A guy and this girl he was getting to know,
Were just starting out, as all couples must do,
They'd had a few talks and had gone to the zoo.
He stopped by to see her one late
afternoon
When he saw a big storage box in a back room.
"Though I don't mean to bug you, I can't help but stare,"
He said, "what do you keep in that box over there?"
"It's nothing," she said,
with a quick change of topic,
She shoved that box further back into the closet.
Now she thought to herself, "if he sees what's inside,
"He'll make up some excuse, and then run off and hide."
Moving on, it's a couple years later
in life,
The box was forgotten, that girl was his wife.
Then she told him one day, "dear there's one chance in two
"That we'll need that box now that a baby is due."
So he dug it out, wond'ring about
her intent,
When he opened it, though, he saw just what she meant:
It was full of all sorts of pink ruffles and bows,
And little girl shoes and little girl clothes.
Now needless to say, as luck might
just have it,
An ultrasound sent that box back to the attic
It happened once more, the box got pulled down again,
Then it went right back up after the sonogram.
Their two little boys got bigger
each day,
By night they would fight, and by day they would play.
The crew moved to Portland into a new place
Then announced the arrival of número tres!
"We went to the baby store and
you're in luck,"
They told their boys, "this time they had girls in
stock."
From the day she came home she was always adored
But the changes at home just couldn't be ignored.
That box full of dresses and cute
little outfits
Was just the beginning of new foreign concepts.
What lies ahead now as her little tea parties
Give way to make-up and Malibu Barbies?
Then Ken dolls will join in the
party as well
And from that point on it will all go downhill.
She'll trade in her bake-set from old Betty Crocker
For posters of heartthrobs hung up in her locker.
The next thing you know, now don't
tell me there's more,
Some bloke holding flowers will knock on her door.
We're ahead of ourselves, though, those things all have time,
For now let's get back to the point of this rhyme:
The old family of four is a
family of five
Now that our Addisen Price has arrived!
Chapter 5: "Full
Circley"
(from Berkeley's Birth
Announcement)
Ten years ago in Berkeley,
Where people act quite quirkily,
We started our new life; you see,
That’s where I met my wife-to-be.
First chapter of our history
Got wrapped up, well, quite blissfully,
As two best friends from Berkeley
Got married serenderpily.*
In chapter two and chapter
three,
Our two boys joined the family.
When chapter four was meant to be,
The ultrasound said it’s a she.
So there we were with one, two,
three;
Four years went by, and finally,
The princesses sorority
Received its second inductee.
She came so fast, I didn’t
foresee
She’d come with such velocity.
A false alarm? Oh contrary,
T’was not repeated history.
So now throughout eternity
I’ll get my wife’s full third degree
(I must admit, deservingly)
For sleeping through delivery.**
We feared our growing family
tree
Would mark the end of sanity,
But now is seems our new baby
Has been with us eternally.
And little could we all foresee
She’d fit our family perfectly:
First JKL, then ABC
It works out alphabetically.
It also works
symmetrically
With boys and girls split 3 to 3
(Though we may go berzerkeley,
When vote results end murkily.)
She might be small but you’ll
agree,
One look into her eyes, you’ll see,
No limit to what she can be,
No lack of opportunity.
Cause once she learns her
ABC’s
To dot her i’s and cross her t’s
She’ll graduate from Gymboree
and win the national spelling bee.
And then she’ll ace her
SAT,
Get two degrees from MIT,
Conversing with proclivity
On Einstein’s relativity,
Inventing up some gadgetry
That sets her up most comfortably
To be an early retiree
And spend some time in Waikiki.
Or barring that, perhaps
she’ll be
A driver in the French Grand Prix,
The governor of Tennessee,
A talk show host on NBC.
She might restore a Model T,
Go fishing in the Bering Sea,
Or be a rugby referee,
First astronaut to Mercury,
Or she’ll excel maternally
And run a wicked quilting bee,
Or decorate a Christmas tree
That’s featured on late-night TV.
Perhaps she’ll train a
chimpanzee,
Sing backup for the Black-Eyed Peas,
Or work hard as a franchisee
At Krispy Kreme or Frosty Freeze.
And if she’s gifted
musically,
She might conduct a symphony
With screaming fans who’d rather see
Her play guitar on MTV.
Or showing off her expertise
At doing flips on water skis,
Or curing some obscure disease
While speaking fluent Japanese.
And if that’s not her cup of
tea,
The future’s filled with literally
A hundred thousand things that she
Could otherwise decide to be.
Now as I walk nocturnally,
And rock her in my arms, I see
It’s all just fine, as long as she
Enjoys in full life’s potpourri.
We hope she’ll get the master
keys
To open up life’s mysteries,
Like how to give your brain no freeze
While sipping Super Sour Slurpees.
So much to learn…now
seriously,
We hope that most importantly
She grows up full of charity
While loving unconditionally.
It may not be a guarantee,
Our Nobel laureate nominee;
I guess we’ll have to wait and see…
Let’s wrap this up chiasmically:
A decade later we decree
That this divine delivery
Has brought things round full circley
With our sweet little Berkeley!
*ser’en·derp’i·ly (adv): Serendipitously. Fortunately, and by accident.
**The rundown:
Monday 6/5/06 4:30 pm
(cell phone transcription)
L. “Looks like everything’s fine – the doctor saw no signs of
labor.”
K. “OK, so I’ll go ahead and book my flight to San Jose...”
L. “Think we should chance it?”
K. “Oh sure, we still have a few weeks before you’re due - you never go into
labor early anyway. Besides, it’s just for a day and tomorrow’s 6/6/6 – we
can’t have THAT be her birthday."
Tuesday 6/6/06 3:30 pm
(cell phone transcription)
L. “Bad omen, I think I’m feeling some contractions!”
K. “Oh oh. Well, I’m done with my meeting and I’m at the airport now;
I’ll be home in an hour or two. Don’t worry, I’m sure it’s just those
fake contraction things anyway.”
Tuesday 6/6/06 5:30 pm
(cell phone transcription)
L. “More contractions, where are you?”
K. “Uh... my flight’s been cancelled, they’re routing me through Boise. I
think this day is jinxed.”
L. “Get your butt home!”
Tuesday 6/6/06 7:00 pm
(cell phone transcription)
K. “OK, I’m finally on the plane, but I’ve got more bad news.”
L. “Oh great, now what?
K. “First time in my life I splurge for a value meal at the sub shop so
I can have some dinner on the plane, and they forgot to put the cookie in the
bag – curse you 6/6/6!”
L. “Click”
K. “Hello?”
Tuesday 6/6/06 9:30 pm
(cell phone transcription)
K. “OK, I’ve landed, but the car’s dead, I’m getting a jump.
Cursed...”
L. “Click”
Tuesday 6/6/06 11:20 pm
(in person)
K. “Honey, I’m home.”
L. “Finally! Well now there’s no more pain."
K. “See! What did I tell you? Only 40 more minutes and we’ll have beaten
6/6/6. Zzzzzzz.”
Wednesday 6/7/06 1:20 am
(in person)
L. “Wake up, I’m feeling some
pains again!”
K. “Oh it’s probably just a false alarm like with the other kids.”
K. “Zzzzzz.”
Wednesday 6/7/06 1:45 am
(in person)
L. “OK, lots of contractions. I’m
driving myself in. Wait with the kids and I’ll call you from there.”
K. “OK, sure...Zzzzzz.”
Wednesday 6/7/06 2:30 am
(cell phone transcription)
K. “Hi, thanks for calling, please leave a message.”
L. “Pick up...come on, pick up now...”
Wednesday 6/7/06 2:45 am
(cell phone transcription)
K. “Hi, thanks for calling, please leave a message.”
L. “They’re checking me in–this is the real thing...pick up!”
Wednesday 6/7/06 3:00 am,
3:05 am, 3:10 am, 3:15 am, etc (cell phone transcription)
K. “Hi, thanks for calling, please leave a message.”
L. “#!@# I’m doing this with or without you! #$@&#! Wake up!”
Wednesday 6/7/06 4:40 am
(cell phone transcription)
K. “Uh, the phone was dead...”
L. “You’ll be too if you don’t get your butt over here right now! I was
about to call the SWAT team and all my relatives to hunt you down!”
K. “On my way – I’m never going to live this one down am I?”
L. “Not a chance! I'm thinking this is going into the birth announcement!”
Wednesday 6/7/06 11:15 am
(in person)
Arrival!
(c) Lindy and Krey Productions 2006